Top 10 Ways to Antagonize a House Guest
- force your guest off the toilet by yelling at them while they are not done going to the bathroom so that your dog can be washed
- scream at your guest for using the wrong utensil on a saucepan that supposedly costs $500
- when having conversations, be as negative as you can and put down every one of your guest's future plans and aspirations
- try to get your guest to walk your dogs FOR you and pick up their shit while staying home & chatting on the phone/watching television
- threaten that you won't go anywhere until your guest fully blow dries and brushes your hair for you
- tell your guest to lie to their father about trumped up credit card charges since you are too cheap to pony up the cost and too pretentious to take a retail job while not being able to find a job that "properly befits you"
- treat your guest's touching story about your father's past in a callous and disregarding manner
- repeatedly talk shit about your cousins and friends and neighbors so that your guest is clear on how much of a two faced backstabber you are
- freak out at your guest for spending a dollar talking to their significant other, while, in the true fashion of a hypocrite, you go about spending thousands of dollars that aren't even yours to spend
- tell your guest you just "want to punch them in the face" when she is being indecisive over something trivial like when to get a milk shake
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